3 Unlikely Love Gurus... and others
- Unlikely Love Gurus: Your best friend isn’t always the best person to go for advice*
When you first met your man, you’d talk to anyone about your dates or what his last email said. But as your intimacy shutters go down you may begin to feel you’re betraying him if you seek advice from anyone outside your inner circle. “Big mistake,” says Life Clubs founder, Nina Grunfeld, author of The Big Book Of Me. “Your best love mentors are always the most unlikely suspects…”
Mentor-at-the-moment: Your Mum
Mentor-in-waiting:
Your Mum’s Best Friend
“Your mum is often too close to you to give good advice,” says Grunfeld. “She has protective instincts, which cloud her judgement. She also knows that if she’s too critical of your man, it could backfire. So seek out her best friend. Like your mum, she’s known you since you were in nappies, so she can penetrate any social mask you wear and won’t be afraid to give a pull-no-punches perspective”
What To Ask: “When do you think I’ve been at my happiest and why?”
Mentor-at-the-moment: Your Best Friend
Mentor-in-waiting: A Total Stranger
“Your best mate loves you but she’s baised, especially if she’s single and wants to reclaim you” says Grunfeld. “Some of the best relationship chats are with people you’ll never see again. You won’t care if they disapprove of your boyfriend, so you’re unlikely to edit his dark side. Chatting to someone on holiday or in a cafe is ideal”
What To Ask: “What’s the number one lesson you’ve ever learnt about relationships?”
Mentor-at-the-moment: Your favourite Colleague
Mentor-in-waiting: Your Hairdresser
“Don’t tell work colleagues too much about your personal life” says Grunfeld. “They may tiptoe around your feelings, rather than being straight. Turn to your hairdresser for an objective view instead. Rather than baring your soul, phrase it as if it’s a dilemma your friend is having for no-holes-barred advice with a blow dry on the side.”
What To Ask: " My friend Sarah’s having a problem with her boyfriend…"