Join The Club

Could a group of total strangers help solve all your problems? Ruth Hughes went to a life club and found she got by with a little help from her new friends

Every year, on 1 January, I make a batch of resolutions which last less than two weeks. At the beginning of 2007, the ‘new me’ pledged to exercise more, eat healthier food and stop procrastinating (I hardly ever open my mail, and have been known to stumble around in the dark for weeks before I get round to changing a light bulb). But I work such long hours as a freelance writer that I need to give up on these goals within a few days. Yes, I know – excuses, excuses…




I need someone to motivate me to stick to my plans, but can’t face the hefty fees that one-to-one coaching involves, so i’m going along to a Life Club, which costs just £15 for a 90 minute session. The idea is that a group of people meet to discuss their problems and possible solutions under the guidance of a life coach.

OK, so I don’t exactly relish the thought of discussing my new year’s resolutions with a bunch of strangers. But when I walk into the meeting hosted by Life Club founder Nina Grunfeld in the living room of her house in Westminster, central London, I’m relieved to see only about half a dozen people, pens and Life Club folders at the ready. My fellow clubbers include a translator, a secretary and a scientist. I’m intrigued to learn that a couple of them have been coming for almost two years.

The workshop covers a different topic each week, such as reducing stress and using a body language to help you get what you want. Today’s topic is creating success. People are encouraged to go every week to learn a range of skills which help them work towards any specific goals they may have and remain motivated.

This week, Nina instructs us to get into pairs and discuss what we’ve achieved in the past week. I stare blankly at my partner Debbie, 35, a social worker. She looks back at me, equally stumped. ‘Well, I tidied up my sock draw,’ I muse, but it’s not exactly a triumph. Thankfully, a woman called Sarah pipes up: ‘To be honest, I find it easier to remember the bad moments and all the thing’s I’ve done wrong rather than anything positive.’ I’ll second that.

‘Your achievement can be anything from completing a tax return to actually doing nothing at all,’ Nina tells us. ‘For those with busy lives, simply resting can be a triumph.’ Suddenly, climbing back into bed instead of going for that Sunday morning gym session seems quite positive.

This is Debbie’s third time at the Life Club. ’I’d like to meet a bloke, so I hope coming here will give me the skills to achieve that,’ she says. That’s the genius of the idea – the format means it can be applied to any problem, from hating your job to struggling to get fit. For me, this weeks theme of creating success means getting myself more organised, while for someone else it may mean readying themselves for their dream job.

Nina hands out worksheets spanning the areas of our lives, such as careers and social life. We mark how happy we are with each. Both those areas score well for me, but things aren’t looking so good on the romance front. Here it is, in black and white – the long hours at work are damaging my love life. Perhaps I need to jot down another new year’s resolution.

Nina then encourages us to talk about our recent perceived failures, and challenges us to brainstorm with our partnerabout how that ‘failure’ could be seen as a success. Suddenly, my failed attempts to clean the house and sort out my filing (I lazed on the sofa and watched telly instead) became much-needed relaxation time after a hectic week. Chatting to Debbie helps me realise how I’m often too hard on myself and that what I often see as negatives are actually pretty positive.

‘Visualise the person you want to become,’ says Nina. Hmm, forget shoulder-padded power vixen – I want more me-time. It then strikes me that one thing I’ve neglected because of working long hours is my diet. I live on ready meals, so I visualise scoffing platters of healthy salads and smiling, having left the office on time for once. It seems like a positive, achievable image.

Nina explains: ‘The idea is that you’re discovering yourself – who you are and what you want, so you leave feeling good about yourself with the tools to move forward.’

There’s nothing I like more than a good old whinge with a girlfriend over a glass of wine, so did the Life CLub put an end to all that? Well, I certainly walked out feeling super-positive and motivated by my new way of looking at life. I’m focused about what I want to achieve and how I want my life to be – and i think that in itself will help me achieve it.